my grand father,as my kid brother who returned to our hometown from guangdong,south china where he tried to find a living there,told me when i buzzed in after dinner for 3 times,2 times occupied,has passed.i never felt a pain so far.i just felt pity,for both of us.i admired to show him i can with my best to appease him,for so many years since my growth he kept silence to my performance,i want to show him i faith to him and deep love him and worshiped him.many times recently i want to talk to him but always retarded by the inconvinience as my mother claimed that he was on bed for coldness in hubei prov.quite sometimes i want to let myself remembered to buzz him better in afternoon for at that time he likely will get up and my mother also suggested a time in a phone that she can wait for my phone in that period time in a day but i constantly forgot to buzz in afternoon,ie,in sunshine.long time i missed his youth and middle age years as legends in the heaven,in the road straightened for god.
my kid brother told me my grand father left around 2 pm,at that time i fought with dog’s blocks my upload my backup of blogwriter.exe and firefox with plugins i needed for a convinient working environment to my google account less i had to bring udisk or some cafe refuse udisks.they let me spent an additional hour here a dirty cafe.at that time my grand father watching my restless struggles with pests and he can know the world he was to is rather easy with handling these kind of rubbish.he can know his son doomed to clean the kind of rubbish from his land,his kingdom in half of an century,with his grandson,with his ever prosporous offspring,with the behalf of his glory.god,u know even in this saint moment dog still biting me.in a heaven u know i needn’t move a finger of mine to let them evaporate like fog in bubble,but now on this futile earth i had to conbat with full of my source.on this land of dog stained and evil poluted,i need ur guide and companion,as i dreamed for many times.in a conversation in later summer,i asked u in the phone where i can find u after u left,u didn’t reply,or i can’t hear what u told;in a talk in a phone i asked if u r in family name of zhu as me,u didn’t reply or i can’t hear what u told.i at least gain ur help when i lost assurance after thiefs in the dorm let me cold and leaking,u told me it doesn’t matter.i recovered the next day.
father,my god,u held dear ur comments onto me so much,let me grown sound and selfrelied.so many years u let me wonder at large,letting me so many years later retrospect ur road and followed ur footsprint for ur source,ur memory in the world,ur testimony upon the visible and sensible as god’s singularity.god,less the world doesn’t memory,less the men don’t reason,u r always in my heart.i m ur son,ur third son,as u r the third son of my grandfather.i picked ur figure and ur face shape ,i admire i m urs.i took ur dream,took ur vow,i took the kingdom of u,i picked the land u seeing and let it blossoms like forever spring and summer in the most serene valley,that’s my vow,my deed of u.
god,if there is a way,god,if there r reasons.if there is a sideway to ur front,if there is a channel can talk to u.god,my father,if i can hear u,if i can serv u.god,let me know.let me know where i can touch u,god.god,u holy spirit shrined me everytime,but i still need to talk with my father,with my dear father silent so many years.god,i follow ur way without any hesitation,god,i listen ur command without any obscure.god,i need seeing my father,my god.god,in this position i stood too long,god,i need appeasing my father his proud his proud.god,if there is a way,god,if there r reasons.
god,i don’t know how many year i will kept my sorrow for not attending my father’s leaving,i don’t know pains will how tear my heart for missing him,my grand father.god,i know ur mercy to all these.
bye.i love u,dear zhou,my girl,my long waited my second wife to appease my grand father but failed.i love u.kiss u with heart.
its sunny however.last night in the cafe i first visited i finally got the lyric of beiguozhichun(the spring of north country) just before i left.i skimmed it awhile and elapsed extra 5 minute and was charged 0.5 yuan in addition.right i got zoundery blog writer now and write within it to post.dog already let the pc popup a err box to threaten my blogging via it.
last night i read my blog and later ‘thinking on the web’ till 1:47 am.rotten rats nearby again urged me to rest in advance but i kept at guard.in addition the book quite informative.i got know in searching engine design domain there r quite some battle concerning the artificial intellectual techonogy,and likely lazy chinese dotcom to lose,no matter the official how to promoted it via blocking google and other searching engin.this morning i woke up at 9:41 am and got up at 10:30.and i was under attacked before i woke up.after getting up their force let me sat in silence.they sued me my relation with my baby.dog’s eyes set everyone foul licker,that’s nothing specail.at lunch they again offered me dirty dish of stuff of belly of pork or bull or sheep with a lot of spices to hide its smelly,even i spilt several times.i know the male administrative likely in family name of sun,gathering ill willes against me for some time.and they just challenge their boldness to death.
bye.i love u this morning.i love u in still.last night my pda told me by quoting shakespear’s, all true love run no smooth.i was assured so much.kiss u with bear.
i woke up at 8:04 am and got up at 10:21 am.last night was not so peaceful for me.but i slept sound as usual.in morning dog still biting and i had to urined once.i dreamed my college girlfriend whose family name is liu,and left me after 1 year when we r sophermore.i dreamed she showed me her shot of movie of my being mad in unversity.so i was told even when i was mad in my 20s’.after dream i found its wrong.i was sound in my 20s’.another alumni,wenxiong(civil male) appeared in my dream and tried to relate she and me.she gave me and wangbin(king’s army),a guy from northeast of china,her notes to show her fondness.after woke up and meandered in the room i doubting if i was forced to dream this by the neighbor hooligans,i always guessed one of them should under family name of liu.lius now phenotype in nowaday china,after their sibs of liushaoqi,the ccp’s adhesive and kkb’s(i mean secret security force) head and died after torture.they appeared among the obvious higher social ladder.
i likely had not more to utter.silence covers me with due peace when i was alone.u can enjoy ur peace so far,but only with me u can find final peace.i hope ur hair’s wave can touch me sooner and i will taste ur lips with ice cold.i love u.kiss u with bright.bye.
btw,post entitled ‘sunny morning,gloomy afternoon’ posted Nov 29 there is a line reads:’last night in a dream my worry of my blogs was hijacked by dog was replied,i dreamed in a school or someplace in very haste i tried to test if my blogs’ pages returned to me in internet cafes was from a faked website cocted by cops and redirected.’ in which ‘cocted’ should be ‘concocted’.’faked’ better replaced with ‘forged’.i mean cop hijacking domain of world into its cheating domain,just like many internet criminal categoried in title of ‘fishing’ in chinese.however criminal can only cheating user with familiar domain but in fact different domain while dog can hijacked ur page requests and returned u fake page.
another line within the post reads ‘its the last day of our monthly deposit and i was told i was left one day to deposit duely otherwise missing one compensating two month.’i quite sometimes think in chinglish,so here ‘compensating’ should be ‘penalized’.the bank ruled missing a month due deposit of fix term saving and withdraw wholesome,u had to deposit one more month to get the due profits.i guess.
i got up at 9:21 am.last night dog’s biting was weak.i read mrs Thatcher’s autobiography late after 11:30 pm.politician’s life was quite interesting and her road to serv her motherland was step by step led by god.god place responsibility on some prominances like an arrow on the bow.a single person’s life was really short.historic steam soaring with deafing sound.after geting up and had a bag of milk from my baby’s mother’s home,i headed to see my baby.last night in a dream my worry of my blogs was hijacked by dog was replied,i dreamed in a school or someplace in very haste i tried to test if my blogs’ pages returned to me in internet cafes was from a faked website cocted by cops and redirected.i can’t clearly remember the result but i know i had to trust god.including these chase and hunting and harass like most disgusting virus and gay,all god’s train onto me.god let israel suffered and let america humiliated,that just let common sense and common people more sound and selfsufficient.in the morning i help my baby playing with tapwater against the old woman’s sneers.after 11 am my baby slept in my arms.his mother let me not to receive her in the phone last night.after his mother shifted him to bed i copy my blog update to my pda.the lunch with big slice of pork let me full filled.i just felt god’s care and the power of my will.after lunch i secured her notebook with modification on registry and security settings.then our baby woke up.after ated some food we held him to have him vaccined.he cried likes we wrong did him and stopped cry just after his mother held him from my arms.then i held him to deposit for his graduate education.the branch of the bank,communication bank of china,was under refurnishment and we were told to another branch cross 2 streets.there 3 windows stopped service as a common phenomeno in china stateowned bank.and the rest window quened each with 2 or 3 persons but the handling process went very slowly.i waited about half of an hour to let 2 women finished.in our back under the window facing the street herds the aged,who can’t find place with warming utensil and can gather,as a common phenomeno in north china.my baby on my shoulders sometimes got irritated.when my turn arrived i was told the magnetism of the deposit book turned too weak and i had to fetch my id card and my baby’s id card or our residential book to rebuild our deposit book.i argued its their fault but without any effect.its the last day of our monthly deposit and i was told i was left one day to deposit duely otherwise missing one compensating two month.i hated my baby’s mother’s delaying,but i hated more the stagnant process of china stateowned banks.i just fed up with quene and slow process.on the way back to home i complained to my baby how chinese lived with all these dog shits.after returned i handed my baby to the old woman and fetch certification as demand and went there again.a dog in yellow coat just closely near me and biting.he was first on the farest window from the one i handled but he followed me and sat on the chair i should sit when i dealing.i intended to test my worry and found 4 or 5 internet cafes all stuffed.that only indicated how many idle young men awaiting jobs.
bye.i m timing.i love u as usual.kiss u with coming snow white.
after posting i jogged in the garden for some time.then i went to borrow pc magzines from qrrs’ libray.after some persuading i borrowed 2 copy of computer fans magzine.i then read newspaper in the newspaper room of qrrs.a cop haunted there and left.i see religion battle in world.and god let america not to afford full damage of the disaster of islamics.may or may not its time to see the fate of dictatorship,but the nation deserted the midasia now boasting to challenge the world in peace.russia like a half died dinosaur peering to rerivify itself,letting the old man steal new energy from the updating world.the librains behind the glass wall biting and later almost gave up.i finished reading a mag in the rest of afternoon in the dorm.at dinner they didn’t offer me any meat on my routine budget of 3 yuan a meal.i enjoyed it as usual for i really hunger after reading and being bited.after dinner i ate the apple from my baby’s mother.i waited awhile lest missing her phone.here i registered myself an http://www.linkedin.com an account to have an experience of its service as refered by the mags.some wiki sites were blocked from access now,as i known,but i likely will enjoy google’s soon from its acclaim of http://www.jot.com.i can’t wait for it.life can be easier via web,but the job market in reality so slumpy that let anyone in season daunted.and world also see its stalemate in the dogged world with unease of dirty spot of outdated dicatator systems.god let everyone in the world a sincere choice to follow,to follow a brighter future with democracy entended or cogged with sand in it like nowaday zipped world,spoted with fire and torment.
bye.i love u.kiss u with coming snow white.
i got up at 8:23 am.last night i dreamed of chenlong(become
dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named
fangzuming,interviewed with our a semester including 4 or 5 children
including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.then i
got up to urine,its about 6 am and i met a man just leaving the
lavatory and enter his room near the washing room and a man washing in
the washing room.after returned to bed,i dreamed of chenqian(journey
ahead),the once emcee of cctv's program 'zhengdazongyi' and
actor,steered a boat in a lake to fight japanese enemy,liking a common
scene in the PRC's movie.i don't know if he is acting or in real in
the dream.after all i felt glad to be blessed to dream.
last night i was heavily hacked and i don't know what a threat
challenges my posting here.so i decided to use one of my google
group,benzyrnill, to post against unauthorized modifications.
it seems a fine day.i know a link to our neighbor,japan.after all love
is immortality.
bye.i love u.kiss u.only love can save our marriage.no matter how we r
bond with family history, god let us love.that leads peace and
harmony.
btw,in post of 'unclear morning' posted on nov. 8 ,'what can soothe
thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the simplicity of the
universe.' should be 'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of
girl,what can cure the singularity of the universe.'.i mean the
singularity of universe as described by the famous physical scientist
Stephen Hawking.
when i left the cafe in the morning the snow waving on the street.its so prosperous.when i arrived my baby just woke up by my unlocking door and he immediately asked for my caress.in the morning i so far felt so solitude and my baby warmed and relieved me with his kindness and understanding.soon his mother arrived and we had lunch at once.his mother shown especial caring for him and again left me in relief.my baby also especially cute and cordial.he entertained us both with his eating and shitting.after lunch we prepared to shot pictures outside and i suggested in the ground garden just below the building her home located.its plain but the shrub and bushes prosperous.we met some familiars of his mother and his mother urged us to return soon.so we returned.then i busy with sorting the pictures and movies while his mother milked him and let him slept.later the department director of my once working place buzzed in and asked for talk with an offer of some gift money for journalist day tomorrow at same time.i kissed my baby in dream and left.in the office the dep. director inquired about my situation and asked for me to take part in working time.i admitted it and returned to the dorm.then i sensed my love and forgive for some girls in my life,including fang(square),lu and u,zhou.the qrrser planting cypresses in the garden where they laid down large trees.some worker stayed in front of my window and dirty willed,so i went to dinner.i felt something interacted with me and puting me into a new setting.bye.i love u.kiss u with white of snow.
 |
| From the Son in th… |
my baby received me near the door when i arrived there about 10:00am.i
held him playing for half an hour then went out to receive his
mother.we picked the way to sportsyard and he asked for walking on the
newly heaped earth on the path around the yard on feet.there r 3 or 4
children with their parents there.my baby picked a ditched sore milk
cup so i suggested buying one.then we went to tongxin supermarket
where we bought a cup of sore milk,a bag of fried fish wings and
little bag of sausage.we ate immediately outside of the market.then we
entered the south garden where swarmed with aged people.we had a good
time in the sunshine.when i caught sight of some teachers leaving
through the door of his mother's school i hastened there but still his
mother had to turned back from home to fetch us.after lunch i played
awhile his mother's notebook then we triple went outside.we
accompanied his mother to her school and we went to south garden.i
started to shot my baby.he played on the leaves on ground
concentrately but later insisted to hang the camera and bumped a lot
on the paveway,let me very anxious.he asked for some snack from the
grocer in the garden.when we shifted to sports yard after eating a ice
stick he slept on my shoulder.the old woman laid him on bed and i
started to play with the notebook and the web.the dogs again hacked
the notebook and the antivirus and antispyware and firewall again
broken by the dog,who mostly likely manipulated the telcom to hack our
byte flow,but also possible my os let them faults to break in.its just
too fast.they r more and more desperate to brag their weapons and
brutality.they r losing,just like their doomed fate.
tonight the cafe full of dogs,heavily biting.last night dog among them
let the pc err prone and hanged and reboot itself.dogs union really
losing.they just can't keep their fake peace.fake pretense.god let me
see the breaking light near the end of the tunnel.
bye.i love u.kiss u with pure white of the coming first snow of the
killing winter.
i got up at 9:25 am.last night i continued to read the works of zhutianwen,a taiwan novelist.her readings to ‘A Dream of Red Mansions (hongloumeng) .she is in fact quite far-sighted on society of china and the perspective of china. of course, she didn’t think she can make a reality on her own. in her early years she was under influence of hulancheng, the scholar worked for wnagjingwei, the coworker of japanese authority once in china deeply. his father in faith to christian. i m glad to see and hear another patriot under my family name.
i can surf the internet via a fake name in a farer cafe and let me more or less relief.one of my subscription of google groups discussing china intending adopting real name blog and regard it a backward in web history.i agree with him.china spare no effort to learn after south korea.i don’t know much about south koreal but as to real name everywhere its stupid. to cure a unfair society need deeper insight to its structure but not with a expediance.chinese media always boast the inconvinience of new trival social
bubbles to urge mindless chinese people (they can’t be mindless now that all around them r filtered messages,faked messages) hand in more supervision to the hand of authority,esp, cops. i think its lazy and intended by power interest group.i hated it.democracy demand liberal minds.sound mind must to be independent.
bye.i love u.kiss u with my warmth in love with u.
i got up about 8:47 am.i dreamed of the former german chancellor,Gerhard Schröder ,visited china and i asked him some questionS in english.he crossed the crowd and talked to me his puzzle about the setting on the path likely set by cops.i dreamed i had to tiptoed not to stain my trousers for shits all round the ground.so i knew gays around.
my google and blogger almost blocked. i don’t know when i can blog freely from now.internet cafes now demand showing ur national id card published by cops, liking probating criminals.hope the dark day been sunshined soon.
bye.kiss u.i love u with temders.
emake, dream to fly 